Wednesday, December 30, 2015

MY MOM

My mom has always been a caregiver. From the time I was born until now she has always had an instinct to care for others. She was born and raised in Guangdong, China in a little village. At the age of 26 she met my dad who was vacationing in China at the time. After they wed she remained in China to care for my dad's elderly mother, my grandma, until she passed away. She had me when she was 30 years old and my sister at 32.

Once we moved to Seattle in 1993 she became a stay at home mom and took care of my sister and I. We were spoiled to say the least with the amount of love and care she provided us. Not a lot of children have the privilege of growing up with both parents around the home all the time. My mom seldom left us alone. I remember at one point she started taking classes at a community college and my sister and I would get really upset when she left in the mornings. To make us feel better, she would leave little pieces of candy next to our bed for us to have when we woke up. 

In addition to being a full time homemaker she would also save & send money to her family back home. My parents helped my cousins through school in China since their parents weren't able to. They both were and are some of the kindest people I know. 

My dad was quite a lot older than my mom and suffered a lot of health problems before he passed 5 years ago. He needed a lot of help in those years and she was his primary caregiver. From cleaning to feeding and administering his medication, she did it all with grace and patience. 

After my dad passed I often worried she would be lonely and not have enough to do. But she seemed to enjoy life - met new friends, went shopping, took our dog for walks. It is hard to not fall in love with my mom once you meet her. Even when she was in the hospital getting poked and woken up at odd hours, she was very sweet to everyone. All the nurses and doctors loved her.

Now it is our turn to take care of her. I only pray and hope that we can take care of her as well as she's taken care of everyone around her. She deserves so much more than this life has given her, but there is still time. Time for many more happy memories and adventures together. 

If there is one thing this experience has taught me about life, it is that every day counts.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

A NEW BEGINNING

The last couple of months have been incredibly challenging, life changing, heartbreaking, humbling and a wide range of other emotions for me. One thing I've learned through it all is that you really are stronger than you know.

On December 9th, 2015 my mom was diagnosed with ALS, also know as Lou Gehrig's disease. I'm sure many of you have heard of it because of the ALS ice bucket challenge a few summers ago. It is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that causes muscle weakness, paralysis and ultimately respiratory failure. There is no cure for ALS and the prognosis is generally 2-5 years. My mom has a rare form of ALS called bulbar onset. It started with slurred speech and swallowing difficulties. Most of her weakness is in her mouth and tongue, but she still has the ability to walk and move around right now. However, the course of this disease is unpredictable so we just have to take is one day at a time and appreciate every moment we get.

While there are many things that we will have to adjust and adapt to, this diagnosis does not mean the end of a life; it is just the beginning of a new one. I've not completely come to terms with it yet and I know there will be a lot of dark times coming our way, but there will also be many happy ones. I've created this space to document the life lessons I will learn along the way. I know there are other people out there experiencing a similar situation and I hope documenting our journey can be of help in some way - whether it be tips on caregiving or brining awareness.